Womanizer
by FifiDoll
Summary: Puck has a strange dream and when he wakes up, he's a girl. He proceeds to panic and call Finn for help and learns a valuable lesson in the process. Contains dubcon and songs by Britney Spears and Reel Big Fish.


**Warning: Contains dubcon.**

**Womanizer  
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Their assignment in Glee club was to sing a song that felt described themselves or someone else in the group accurately. Puck arranged with the jazz band to play a little ska to spice things up, and decided to save his performance (the best) for last by performing at the end of the week. Standing up front in front of the rest of the group, he put on his cocky smirk and began to sing,

"_Talking away  
>I don't know what's left to say<br>But I'm sayin' it anyway.  
>Today's not my day to find you<br>Shying away  
>I'll be coming for your love, okay?"<em>

He pointed to one of the girls in the front…Brittany or Santana maybe? They could leave his gesture open to interpretation. As long as his song got him some tail, he'd be satisfied. He continued singing, dancing around a little as Mike and Artie joined in on the chorus.

"_Take on me  
>Take me on<br>I'll be gone in a day or two!"_

He kept singing, trying to give the girls his message of "I'm a sex shark, come get me!" Santana had the mischievous glint back in her eye after weeks of nothing but anger due to Brittany's new found love, Artie. Puck smirked and winked at her, knowing exactly what was in store for him that evening. Well, what he hoped he was going to get that evening, at least. Santana's look just told him she was going to jump his bones, though. He continued singing, completely oblivious to the desperate, wanton, pining look emanating from the eyes of Finn Hudson, whose hand was occupied by Rachel Berry's, but whose heart was focused on someone completely different.

Unfortunately for Puck, the party they were at that evening got busted before Santana had a chance to jump his bones. He fell asleep in his own bed, buzzed and alone.

All six girls in the Glee club were up front. They were dressed in ridiculously tight shirts with short skirts to match, their white knee socks and Mary-Jane shoes adding a bit of schoolgirl flair. Puck sat in a chair by the piano, watching with eager anticipation. Whatever the girls had prepared, if it included outfits like those, it would end well for him. He smirked and sat back in his chair, ready for the show to begin.

Santana sang lead first, with the other girls dancing very suggestively behind her,

"_Superstar, where you from? How's it going?  
>I know you got a clue what you're doing.<br>You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here,  
>But I know what you are, what you are, baby."<em>

Puck's smirk grew as he watched Brittany and Santana trade a sexy kiss before it was Brittany's turn to sing,

"_Lookin' at you gettin' more than just a re-up.  
>Baby, you got all the puppets with their strings up.<br>Fakin' like a good one but I call 'em like I see 'em.  
>I know what you are, what you are baby."<em>

All of the girls joined in for the chorus, grinding upon each other and winking suggestively at Puck. The chanting of "womanizer" and all the other lyrics were lost on Puck as he watched the girls shimmy and shake, their curves and breasts catching his eye much more. He didn't even realize what was going on until Rachel stepped forward and began dancing on his lap, singing the next verse.

"_Daddy-O, you got the swagger of a champion.  
>Too bad for you, you just can't find the right companion.<br>I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard, it could be easy.  
>Who you are, that's just who you are, baby."<em>

Santana walked up and pulled Rachel away by her hair, causing the two to lash at each other while Tina took the next verse. Their fighting ended midway through Tina's verse, and Santana walked away with her shirt torn down the front and Rachel's hair was mussed up sexily.

"_Lollipop, must mistake me you're the sucker.  
>To think that I would be a victim. Not another.<br>Say it, play it how you want it.  
>But no way I'm ever gonna fall for you, never you, baby."<em>

Quinn stepped in after the next chorus, pulling her short skirt even higher for Puck to see the dark panties underneath. She bent over, showing all her curves to him. Curves she wasn't going to let him touch as she sang.

"_Maybe if we both lived in a different world, yeah.  
>It would all be good and maybe I could be your girl.<br>But I can't 'cause we don't, you!"_

The girls gathered together to sing the chorus one last time, touching, grinding, and feeling each other up as Puck watched with a growing hardness in his pants. They all gathered around him for the very end as they sang together with seductive grins on their faces.

"_Womanizer woman-womanizer you're a womanizer.  
>Oh, womanizer, oh you're a womanizer baby."<em>

When the song ended, Puck licked his lips and looked around him, ready to get whatever was happening next going. He reached out for Santana with his right hand and Quinn with his left, and they grabbed his wrists with a grip so tight he couldn't escape. Tina stood behind him and held his back against the chair. Rachel and Brittany stood to the side to allow Mercedes to step forward. "We hope you heard our message, boy," she threatened.

Puck smirked and said, "Hell yes I did. This sex shark is about to have his dreams come true. Six ladies at once? Fuck yes!"

Mercedes glared at him along with the other six girls surrounding him. "Boy, you are stupider than you look," she shook her head. "You're a _womanizer_." She emphasized. "And until you realize it, dream this, Puck." She turned to the side. "Rachel, will you do the honors?"

Rachel stepped forward with what looked like a magical wand, tipped with (you guessed it) a shiny gold star. She held it up above her head as if she were going to chop down a tree. Puck's smirk faded. She may not be chopping down a tree, but he saw where her wand was swiftly headed, and he braced himself for the pain that would soon befall his groin. The wand slapped painfully down right where he expected, and Noah Puckerman woke with a start.

Rolling over, Puck reached out to look at the clock. It was eight o'clock on a Saturday, and he was awake. He felt a dull pain all over his body, particularly in his groin. He probably hit himself while he was sleeping and it just happened to coincide with his dream. As he snuggled back under his blankets, ready for a few more hours of sleep, he noticed something about himself. When he reached out to look at the clock, his hand looked strange. Not the usual rough, calloused hand with dirt under the fingernails. No, what he saw instead looked perfectly manicured and ridiculously feminine.

He held his hands in front of his face to see that he wasn't imagining things. Puck had girl hands. He sat up in a panic, looking around for some sort of reflective surface. Climbing out of bed to find something to reassure him that he was imagining things, he practically fell on his face. Walking was different for some reason. Stumbling out his bedroom door, he rushed into the bathroom, shut the door, and locked it. He leaned over the sink to catch his breath, and then braced himself as he looked up into the mirror. It took every ounce of his self control not to scream.

Looking back at him wasn't his usual reflection. He was shorter, that much was obvious. His face had softened features with delicate cheekbones and pouty lips. There was no hint of a five o'clock shadow. His eyelashes were full, giving his eyes a much more feminine glint. Dark curls fell upon his shoulders and his sights continued lower. Oh dear lord, he had breasts. His eyes glinted with excitement at this fact. Reaching out he took them into his hands and smiled as they filled his palms. Feeling lower, he came to the horrible, humiliating discovery that he was, in fact, a girl.

Even though he should want to feel up this new body, he didn't. Confusion plagued his brain as he tried to figure out what was going on. It was just a dream. Mercedes only threatened his manhood in his _dream_. But somehow that transferred to reality, and he couldn't help but freak out a little. His first thought was to call Mercedes and ask her to change him back, but that sounded a little ridiculous. He could imagine it now: "Hey Mercedes. I need you to make me a man again. 'Kay, thanks, bye."

She'd probably laugh in his face and ask if he was drunk. Maybe drinking would help? Puck shook his head at that idea; it wouldn't help him, really, but it would feel damn good. Then it hit him: he could call Finn. The guy was a dolt at the best of times, but Puck had enough blackmail on him to keep him quiet for the rest of his life. Walking strangely because of his newly shaped hips, Puck went into his room and picked up his cell phone. Dialing the familiar number, he held the phone up to his ear and waited as it rang.

It rang almost six times before Finn answered with a groggy, "Yeah?"

"Dude, it's me, I need your help," Puck said quickly.

"Who is this?" Finn asked, waking up a little more.

"It's me, Puck."

"No, you're not. You sound like a girl," Finn pointed out.

"That's the problem, dude!" Puck shrieked, completely losing his cool. "I had this weird dream that the girls were singing Womanizer to me and now I'm a girl!"

Finn grumbled, "Fuck you. Who prank calls at eight in the morning?"

"This isn't a joke, dude," Puck said seriously. "I need you to get over here right now."

"'m tired," the other boy grumbled.

"Dude!" Puck shrieked. "Get your ass over here _now!_"

Finn grumbled something incoherent and Puck asked for him to clarify. "Fine, I'll be there, but you fucking owe me, dude," Finn mumbled.

"Right, yeah, whatever. And remember, it's me, Puck. Don't go to some girl's house. And you can just come in, I'll be in my room," he repeated.

"Mhmm," Finn said, hanging up the phone.

Puck sat on the edge of his bed, waiting nervously. He realized how ridiculous he must look. He was wearing the boxers and tee shirt he fell asleep in, but they were droopy on his new frame. The sleeves of the tee shirt ended just above his elbows, and the body of it ended mid-thigh. The boxers hardly stayed up, so he pulled them off and tossed them across the room. He was still in shock: he was a girl. He started pacing his room, trying to figure out what to do next.

Maybe if he re-dreamed his dream, it would rewind and he'd be a guy again? Or maybe if he touched himself it would all go away? No, that's just wishful thinking. Nothing this horrible would be taken away by something as rewarding as an orgasm, unfortunately for Puck. It took Finn forever to get to his house. Puck was still pacing when he finally heard feet making their way up the stairs. There were heavy knocks on the door and Puck rushed towards it. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and looked up – way up – at his friend.

Finn looked down, confused. "Uh…where's Puck?" he asked, looking around the room, blushing slightly.

"I'm Puck," the girl in front of him stated obviously.

"No, um…Puck's a dude," Finn said stupidly. "So you can't be."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, dude," Puck said, frustrated with Finn's lack of comprehension. "I'm Puck. But I'm a girl. Do you see the problem?"

"How'd you manage that?" Finn asked.

"I had this dream," Puck began, explaining the whole dream to Finn, who listened disbelievingly.

Puck watched his friend expectantly, waiting for some sort of reaction. "What am I supposed to do about it?" Finn asked.

"I don't know, but you're the only person that won't make fun of me," Puck admitted. "So, help me."

"Sorry, dude, but all I can think about is the fact that you have really nice boobs," Finn shook his head.

Puck blushed and slapped Finn across the face. Finn looked surprised. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean you can get any."

"Come on," Finn begged. "You know as well as I do that none of the girls are giving any up. We both get something out of this. And maybe it will fix your little problem."

"No," Puck said firmly. "I am not sleeping with you."

"Dude, you're good looking when you're a guy," Finn pointed out. "When you're a girl, you're just…really sexy. Especially in that."

Puck was in disbelief. Had Finn just come out to him? It didn't matter, because he had other things to worry about. Like the fact that Finn was leaning in to kiss him. "Dude!" Puck shrieked, leaning back.

Finn looked hurt and confused as he sat up straight. "Do you have a better idea?" he asked.

"No, but I highly doubt sex is the way to fix this!" Puck argued.

With a sigh of frustration, Finn reached out, grabbed the back of Puck's head, and pulled him into a kiss. Puck tried to push him off, but Finn was too strong. Finn was gentle about the kiss, but it still bothered Puck. This was _not_ what he wanted to be doing. "Please?" Finn asked, sounding rather pathetic.

"No," Puck replied softly.

Finn kissed him again, probably hoping to change his mind or something. It wasn't working. "You owe me," Finn argued.

"Not like this!"

Finn sighed. He was still kind of pissed at Puck for the whole Quinn thing. He should just let that go, but this was the perfect scenario to get his revenge (and get off, which he desperately needed). He kissed Puck once again and started pushing him back onto the bed.

Puck broke the kiss and scooted back onto the bed. He brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Finn couldn't help but laugh. "What?" Puck asked defensively.

"You are _such_ a girl right now," Finn said. "Look at you!"

"I shouldn't have called you," Puck shook his head. "Get the fuck out, Hudson."

Finn looked like he was ready to comply, but he didn't. "No, you owe me for waking me up," he said. "And you kind of need to be put in your place."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You treat women like shit," Finn shrugged, then added, "Most of the time."

"So what, you're going to rape me?" Puck challenged.

"Well, not necessarily. You'll like it, dude, you just need to relax. Have a little fun with your…um…situation," Finn said.

"No."

Finn moved up onto the bed and kissed Puck again. His arms released his knees and he tried pushing Finn off of him, but the six foot three oafish mass above him was too much for him. As a girl, Puck had few muscles, and this frustrated him. He couldn't just beat up Finn like this. Finn continued kissing him, ignoring the light pushes he felt on his chest. Puck tried to pull away, but ended up lying flat on his bed.

Finn's body pressed down on Puck's and his legs spread, letting Finn rest between them. This was _not_ happening. Puck did not want to sleep with Finn out of sympathy, just because he was magically a girl. No, that was not how things worked. But obviously Finn thought differently, because his hand ran down Puck's thigh gently.

Puck tensed under Finn's touch. His hands were _huge_, and inching closer and closer to…_there_. Puck's eyes fluttered shut as Finn's finger reached between his legs. God, it felt strange being a girl. "Told you," Finn whispered.

The touches he was making were nice, Puck had to admit, but he still didn't want to be doing this, and he voiced this to Finn, who replied with a forceful kiss. After a few more moments, Finn sat back on his knees and looked down at Puck, who looked extremely worried and a little scared. He pulled off his clothes and Puck shook his head. "No," he repeated. "I said no!"

Finn reached forward for the shirt Puck was wearing and pulled it off in one move. Puck now sat on his bed, a little bit scared, and very naked. Girl Puck was very feminine and girly; he had nice curves and was quite thin. "You are really hot," Finn said lamely. "You should stay a girl."

"No," was all Puck could think to say.

That's all that was screaming through his mind. No, this was not happening. No, he was not going to have sex with Finn. No, he was not a girl. No, this was all impossible and a terrible nightmare.

Finn was on top of him again, kissing him and grinding down on Puck's new parts. Puck didn't respond to the kisses and tried desperately to push Finn off of him. Growing tired of Puck's resistance, Finn grabbed both of Puck's arms and hoisted them above his head. He held them done with one hand before continuing. "Dude, this isn't cool," Puck complained.

Finn ground down on Puck and Puck could feel his pressing erection on his thigh. He closed his eyes and tried to wish everything away. Their naked bodies moved against each other with delicious friction, in Finn's opinion, at least. Puck was dreading what happened next. He didn't even bother to say no; he knew Finn wasn't listening. Puck was annoyed beyond belief, and more than a little angry at Finn not listening.

Puck was right. The next moment Finn was positioning himself above Puck's feminine body. He pushed in slowly and Puck winced in pain. Dear God, it was painful! Finn went slowly, but it was too much. Puck couldn't even stop himself; a few tears fell from the corners of his eyes. Finn began moving in and out slowly, obviously finding some pleasure in something only providing Puck with pain. It was unfair and totally uncalled for.

Finn didn't last long, but Puck didn't expect him to. He pulled out right at that moment, his come landing upon Puck's torso. He stayed there for a moment and only moved when Puck mumbled, "Get off, you're hurting me."

Finn crawled off of Puck and busied himself with getting dressed. "Are you happy now?" Puck shot angrily, wiping a tear from the side of his face. "You got laid and I'm still a girl, but now I have pain added to the mix."

"Sorry, dude, but I had to," Finn shrugged. "You were hot, and there was no way you'd ever do anything with me as a guy."

"Get the fuck out," Puck spat.

Finn didn't argue. He stood and left the Puckerman household without so much as a look back. Puck grabbed the tee shirt he had been wearing and wiped the mess off of his belly. Then he shuffled around his closet for some old pajamas he wore back when he was scrawny and didn't have muscles. The pajama pants and tee shirts fit a little better and he crawled into bed. He wanted to give up on the situation and die right there. After what Finn just did, he felt like shit. He didn't get off on it. Was that how it always was for girls?

Thinking back at all the times he's had sex, Puck realized that half of them were similar to what just happened, and most of the time they ended after he got off. He never even paid attention to the girl or what she was feeling. It was all about Puck the Sex Shark, after all. Sighing, he realized just how awful the feeling was, being the girl. He buried his face in his pillow at the thought of how many girls he had made feel this way. Sleep was difficult, but he finally dozed off once more.

Puck woke to his mother knocking on his bedroom door. "Honey, it's noon, you should get up," she called from the other side of the door.

"'Kay," he grunted.

His voice sounded lower. He sat up quickly, looking first at his hands. They were his own manly, dirty hands. Looking down, he realized he was back as a boy. Maybe he really did dream the whole girl thing? There was another knock on the door and he shouted, "I'm up!"

"It's me," he heard Finn's voice call.

Puck sighed. This was going to be awkward. "Fine," he said.

Finn walked in and his expression was a mix of remorse and hilarity. "I'm sorry about what I did," he said, but couldn't keep himself from laughing.

Puck was in clothes at least two sizes too small. His pants clung to his thighs and junk, and the shirt would probably rip if he flexed his muscles. "You're an asshole, dude," Puck said, not finding any hilarity in the situation.

"It worked though, right?" Finn shrugged.

Puck grumbled something indiscernible, but had to admit that Finn was right. Stupid bumbling Finn with his damn sexual urges had _actually_ saved the day.


End file.
